Only natural
The past few weeks’ news bulletins carried grim news of incidents of honor killings from the rustic environs of Haryana. The nation shuddered at the unapologetic mannerisms of the villagers. The media termed them India’s Taliban. ‘ Khap Panchayat ‘ became synonymous with medieval barbarism. The nation seethed with anger over the defiant attitude of the khap , their steadfast defense of their beliefs and actions became an affront to the authority of the state and the constitution. Suddenly, India’s dark belly was exposed for all to see. But should we really be surprised ?
No,we should not be surprised. This has been going on for centuries. It’s in the mindset. Across North India, the attitudes are much the same. ‘Honor’ matters. Ours is a male dominated patriarchal society. Women are the vessels of the family honor. Any indiscretion against the women folk elicits harsh reprisals from the family. When a woman marries outside her family’s wishes it is taken as a blot on the family name which must be cleansed by all means. Village life can be unforgiving and brutal for the families who’ve ‘lost their honor’. Whilst women supposedly bring shame to the family by marrying outside their faith, caste, community men are immune, in fact it is often considered a victorious quest. And it is not the villages alone that are the problem, the problem is with the entire society. Even Bollywood movies which depict inter faith, inter national relationships always cater to the same sentiment, consciously or subconsciously. The hero of Veer Zaara and Gadar had to be Indian, the hero of Zakhm had to be Hindu. By marrying a Pakistani, the Indian had somehow scored a victory. The legendary folk tales of Punjab too echo the same psychology. In the legend of Sucha Singh Soorma, the protagonist kills his sister in law and friend after he discovers they’d been having an affair and thus ‘restores’ his family’s honor. In the more famous tale of Mirza-Sahiban, the protagonist Mirza is lynched by Sahiban’s brothers after they’d eloped. The tale is regarded as ‘unfortunate’ but the brothers are absolved of any wrong doing. Even most of our abuses are centered around the same sentiment, thus further invigorating the sense of women centric honor. I remember my grandmother recalling her experience of the partition, how a Pathan friend had given them shelter in Lahore, how her father carried a sword with him throughout the journey and made it clear that in case of an attack he’d kill each one of them himself. And these things really did happen during the partition, fathers killing daughters and brothers killing sisters to avoid the dishonor.
Punjab and Haryana have the worst sex ratio in the nation. It is truly horrendous. The problem is so deep routed in the mindsets that it has evolved into instinct. The girl child is treated as a burden of which no good can possibly come out. And heavens fall when the girl dares to spread her wings. It’s a malaise that is stretched across our social fabric, these honor killings are just the tip of the iceberg !
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