Goodness

How do you know that you’re a good person? Do you even know if you want to be a good person? And what exactly is being good? Let’s take a few mundane examples. Speaking the truth, not hurting others, helping the poor, respecting elders, blah blah. Going by the well-established parameters set by our forefathers, these would be prime characteristics that make one a first-class model for a good person. But what lead to the origin of these characteristics? What lead to their determination? How can I say that telling lies is bad or whatever-it-is –that-you-and-I-think-so is nice and good?

1. Because these are our customs and traditions.

2. Because that’s what is written in our scriptures. [Here I not only speak of the Bhagwad Geeta or the Holy Quran; but the Bible, the Old Testament, Shri Guru Granth Sahib, the Zend Avesta, the teachings of the Bodhisattvas, the Tripitakas et al]

3. Because that is our way.

Lost in the muddle of figuring out who we are and what people would say or believe about us and vice-versa, we have overstepped the crucial line of control between ‘good in eyes of God and ‘good in the eyes of society’. I call it the line of control because it actually does control and restrict our desires and thus dictates our behaviour.  So, if I invite a guy over at my place, the thought of what if someone got the wrong impression would creep into my mind and as my mama said, “Beita, we know you are right but you’ve got to adjust with the society, no?” So, I should be a good girl and sit at home and sleep before 11pm and do whatever it is that my neighbours feel is the correct social behaviour.

Being different is being bad. There, I said it. Hindus are different from Muslims. Therefore, they are antagonistic to each other.  An outgoing woman is seen as a bad example for the other kudis of the mohulla. A book-lover is known as a geek in his college. Marrying outside one’s caste makes him an outcaste too.  Not keeping the Karvachauth means you ain’t a good wife and bahu. If you speak your mind, you’re a rebel. If you don’t, you’re secretive and weird. So amongst scores of criteria and countless philosophies, how do you figure out which path to follow? Which one would make you feel that you’re doing the right thing?

Here is what I think. Being good is not about observing the social norms at all. I think that let us not be God. Atleast not the ‘God’ part of Him. Because no matter what we do, we could never match up to His goodness, or shall I say – Divinity. So let us not follow his Divinity because we would never have the strength to make the sacrifices He did. Rather, let’s follow his Humanity. The times that Jesus spent on the Earth or when Guru Nanak Dev walked barefoot for 40 odd years from place to place propounding His teachings.  Let us inherit their kindness, their tolerance, their forgiving nature, their gentle disposition. What I mean can be well summarised by the final extract from the movie Chocolat :-

‘I think we can’t go around…

measuring our goodness by what we don’t do.

By what we deny ourselves…

what we resist and who we exclude.

I think we’ve got to measure goodness…

by what we embrace…

what we create…

and who we include.’

There is a lot to be said but I refrain. It is well understood by all. Lighten up your spirit. Free yourself from the old tranquility.