Love Aaj Kal
“Rahul bhai? Can you call me back when you’re free. It’s really important”. “Alright”, I said to my younger brother. An hour passed by and I remembered that I had to ring him. I picked up my phone and punched in his number. He picked up at the very first ring. Without wasting any time, he started off with his story.
It sounded so very familiar. I’d seen this in the movies, heard similar tales from many friends and had even been consulted a number of times. My brother likes a female friend and his male friend stabbed him in the back and went off with the chick. I spent the first thirty minutes trying to calm him down and motivated him to get over the girl. I told him that it’s alright to feel dejected but if he’s patient enough he’ll find a smart, sensible companion. The reply I got was something that got me thinking. He told me that everyone keeps telling him that he MUST get into a relationship and that since every Tom, Dick and Harry has a girlfriend, he must too.
This is not something that I’ve heard for the first time. Countless guys and girls around me compare themselves with others who they feel are inferior to them (in any way) but are in relationships. Your social status becomes tenfold if people around you know that you are dating someone. Curiosity about the opposite sex is fine but this is sheer desperation! People are willing to go out with just about anyone who is ready to accept their advances.
A number of people are of the opinion that experimenting and taking chances with anyone provides one with valuable experience and insight into the workings of relationships. I totally disagree with this thought. How can relationships born out of desperation possibly lead to anything fruitful? These ‘just-for-the-heck-of-it’ relationships can easily be compared with Farmville (Yes. I’m talking about that godforsaken game on Facebook). Just like Farmville, these relationships seem fun, entertaining and everybody seems to have one (farm/girlfriend/boyfriend). But they also share another attribute with Farmville – they are a waste of time, energy and brain. They have no real value and since they stand on frivolous grounds, they teach you nothing. You never realise the worth of the person because you’re busy impressing your peers and end up playing with your own feelings and emotions as well as your partner’s.
I’m probably young and naïve myself but from what I’ve seen and experienced is that you can only find that special someone if you don’t look around too hard. This does not mean that you go hide in the basement! Go out, socialize, make friends but not with the intention of hooking up with every second woman/man you lay your eyes on. Have confidence in yourself and steer clear of the pressure that your friends may exert on you. It’s better to be single and safe rather than get into a messy relationship and then regret it.
The excitement you feel when you actually find somebody who is riding the same wave as you are is something I can’t describe in words. Patience is the key. If you succumb to the pressure, you will end up in a relationship which might not be fulfilling and extremely demanding. On the contrary, if you tame your desperation and stop searching but still keep your eyes wide open, you’ll find someone you can be yourself with. Someone who not only excites every single nerve in your body but whose embrace makes even the most severe pain vanish as well.
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