Criticism – Who Needs It ? Isnt It.

well actually this post was carried out in my personal blog, last month, as rahul has provided me this platform , i would like to post it here.

Quite often ,we come across people who fail to notice the good things we do, the good qualities we have, the talents we have, yet they are the first to catch us,when we make a mistake ,or fail at a responsibility.when we face criticism frequently we begin to feel hurt,angry ,dejected depresed, guilty, or just plainly helpless.its been almost five years since i landed in chennai in search of education. from the day one i had to face severe criticism in every walk of life. here is how i learnt to deal with criticism. it does not affect every one of us,and we must be able to know when to accept it, and learn from it and when to reject it.Here let me take you through the well known story of the great buddha.

One day while preaching ,buddha was interrupted by an angry man,who began showering him with a string of expletives and rather abusive words, buddha waited calmly for his critic to finish and then asked . ” tell me sir! if a man offered a gift to some one but the gift was declined , to whom would the gift belong? “TO the one who offered it” the man replied. well then buddha declared . “I decline to accept your gift of abuse and request that keep it yourself”.
” to bear defeat with dignity,
to accept criticism with poise,
to recieve honours with humility,
these are the marks of maturity and graciousness.
(confucious)
Here is how to deal and what they meant to be;
“CRITICISM”
CR- CARING REMINDERS ;
sometimes,the people we love or who love us make statements like dont forget to wash your clothes this weekend? or why is that you seem to be partying more than studies? these kinds of statements, often sound like criticism or nagging are actually caring reminders. we hear them from parents ,relatives, teachers , and friends. so, when you understad that they come from spirit of love and concern for you, treat them lovingly and not with anger.
IT – IMPORTANT TRUTHS;
very often people may tell us things about ourselves that we may not be aware of. for ex; dont ever call me out, coz you are always late and i dont want to wait around and waste my time. these may sound like criticism but they are important revelations of what others think about us. put them aside and try to be more observant about your actions in the future.
IC-INSIGHTFUL COMMENTS;
you are a real cry baby and extremely cranky, but may be that comes you taking everything too personally, so catch these insights and dwell on them so that they act as learning tool for us to improve.
IS- IDELOGICAL STATEMENTS;
i wish you would be more organised in your work? you are the king of untidiness,you never seem to spend time with your family members. these are extreme opinions so that you pay more attention to them. some times the people who say them may sound sarcastic or mocking and it is upto you to try and make the best of the information they give you.
M-MISUNDERSTANDING;
sometimes, criticism comes from the simple fact that a person may have misunderstood you, what you said or what you did. if this is the case,you can clarify the misunderstanding and approach the person with an attitude of forgiveness for the mistake.

here are some hints;

1. most people criticice your behaviour not ” you”. so dont get defensive and try to justify youyrself.
2. some times its not about you ,when people make insulting. its a reflection of whats going on inside of them.you are simply the target.
3. give what you would like to recieve. if you dont like being criticised , dont even. think twice as the world runs on a principle of balance.
4. always bear in mind that each person is different , and therefore each person looks at the world differently . so before being quick to judge others make sure you look into yourself.

thats it buddy, hope now you are ready to fight criticism . i leave with this finishing para.
” The world keeps putting pebbles in your shoes . as the pebbles increase,walking along becomes more and more uncomfortable.it is at these times that you wish you knew some one who could come along and take a few pebbles out.in this lives of others,who will you be? think think the choice is yours !
Now i think you are ready to face criticism with poise. isnt it ?