The question I have raised is not about you and me or any other girl from a respectable and educated, ‘socially uplifted’ family.
There are families where parents don’t mind in the least if their daughters have boyfriend’s and are even mothers at tender ages.
Let’s look at it objectively. The lower middle class of our society. What all a girl child has to face being born into an orthodox family. My motive is not to demean parents’ judgement, nor am I questioning it. I have tried to bring out the feelings of a girl who has no option.
Why can’t a girl live her life the way she wants? Why can’t she take some decisions of her life? Or some risks? The ones that affect her solely.
Why don’t parents trust the girl child? The question is of faith, and nothing else.
The point you raised about us being comfortable with our daughter’s bf and the intimacy they share, is absolutely valid. But, if I have a boyfriend today and if I have experienced the power of love, surely I wouldn’t (shouldn’t) mind my child experiencing the same.
It is an irony that mothers can get their daughters married to a complete stranger after two or three meetings, but won’t trust her own blood’s choice. The intimacy thereafter, has to be (for the lack of a better word) fulfilled by the daughter. Doesn’t she have the right to decide with whom she wants to share her physical and emotional self.
Thank you for pondering and putting your point across.

I agree that the Indian orthodox society thinks that a gal from a respectable family should get married in her early 20′s. n if she achieves the late 20′s as a spinster then their is some problem with her. n this thing should be deceased.

n Yeah, every parent wants to choose the better half of their kids as they feel that we are kids and they would decide better than us (the experience do count).

But it doesn’t happen now that u don’t get to understand the other person – its was the olden days wen they’ll just say yes and we have to follow that. And our generation is not that “Agyakari” that they’ll listen to everything parents say. The final YES/NO is our own discretion. They just do a screening by looking into the family n the guy’s background, then the decision comes to us if we liked him or not. If for someone looks matters more then choose or reject the guy as per that.. they just tell their own opinions about the person, but they do not impose it on us.

Regarding having boy friend, just think that are you okay with your kid sister’s bf n her intimacy or when u would be parents – will it be okay for us with our daughter’s boy friend n her intimacy??

As rightly said that “I will question my judgment. I made a mistake, and I pay for it.” our parents just want to keep us away from these situations. I buy that every family has different way to deal with the things… but parents do not want their kids to suffer on any damn thing. n so at times, just in the process of being over protective they spoil the things.

I have had been and still become the victim of getting caught red handed by my mum, talking late nights over the phone with my bf. N i hate it too, that she doesn’t understand me n stuff but i know they r just worried that i don’t end up doing something wrong.

So now the picture is not as bad as it seemed in the post.

We may all talk about how women are progressing in this nation, how they stand up with men and that they are now entering every field previously dominated by men.

The fact is, it’s the women who are changing – the current generation of females. The older generation of malees and females is still happy with their “girl as a homemaker” mentality. We may call ourselves liberal but the fact remains we still have miles to go. Women are raped, tortured and killed everyday. No one does a thing. What good is bringing out headlines such as “girls outshine boys in board exams” in newspapers when people still want their daughters to study so that they could get married?

Women are born to get married and bear children. That is it. And that is bullshit. Our parents need to grow out of their current mindsets and free their daughters. The sons can go out late nights while daughters must do their homework. If a girl’s family friend spots her with some guy friend of hers, then they make sure that they tell this to the entire world. The girl is immediately labeled “fast and loose”.

Finally, lovely article. Raises quite a few points about the problems our current generation of women face.