The above thought just sends shivers down my spine. What is this world without our beloved women and their beauty which distinguishes them from us males? Absolutely nothing in this world can be compared with the things that are characteristic of females – their sweet scent, soft skin & comforting voice. Let’s not forget the emotional support they provide us.

I believe we take our ladies for granted and do not give them their due. We guys have it pretty easy. We have a straightforward life till puberty. It’s only after that we begin to experience changes which are pretty simple and a lot of fun (ever heard of a guy traumatized by a boner?!). In contrast, women have it pretty tough. Puberty brings a shit load of changes – a fat bum, breasts and menstruation. It’s like their entire life goes topsy-turvy! Breasts look fascinating but is there any man out there willing to carry a load on his chest which constantly pulls at his back and attracts unwanted attention from other men? What about having blood ooze out from within you on a regular basis? I’ll take it a step further – any guy willing to experience labor pain?

While most men would simply skip the three options that I pointed out above, they can have a go at the following, seemingly easy tasks – waxing and threading. The reason I started this article describing womanly beauty was to later show that it does not come easy! Men can roam around with a moustache, a beard or just easily and painlessly shave every single hair off with a razor. They don’t have to bother about the hair that grows on their arms and legs. Women don’t have that option with them (if you think they do, just head back and read the first paragraph. Now am I making sense?). They can’t simply shave off the hair cause it’ll grow back into a pricky stubble! They have to pluck the hair out – uproot it! Try pulling out a hair. Stings like hell, doesn’t it? Now, imagine a hundred of them being pulled out at the very same time.

If you really want to know (just a tiny fraction) of what it is to be a woman, grow a beard, like I did. Then go to a barber’s shop and tell him to tame your beard so that it looks clean and manageable. If you grow lots of hair on your face, like me, the option he’ll give you is to get threading done. I was given this very option and I agreed without knowing the consequences. It seemed simple and painless. He rolled up some thread and made a quick, swift pass with it over my facial hair. Holy fuck! I almost pissed in my pants! Tears started streaming down my face and I begged him for mercy. I was screaming in pain but he was only doing his job. When he stopped, my face was all swollen and still felt as if needles were being poked into it. But I looked ‘beautiful’. I realized it then that while I could have even tamed my beard with a blade, women always have to go through this pain. The soft, smooth skin, the beautiful face that makes our hearts go wild comes at a cost. We feel that it’s the duty of a woman to be this way – all prim and proper. But what if the women refused to endure this pain? We would end up with a thousand Ugly Betty’s and I’m pretty certain that none of us would want that.

So, it’s time we stop criticizing and start appreciating our ladies. Admire them, love them. Shower them with compliments. Every little thing that they do to stay their feminine selves, involves some real effort and they deserve every bit of admiration from us males for it. Why? Because they do it for us and the world as we know (holding her soft hands, listening to her sweet voice, staring at her pretty face… the list is endless), would cease to exist. Living on this planet without women would be a cruel punishment.

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You might have made it to college because your dad had connections, you had spare money in the backyard, there weren’t much applicants for the course you applied for, nobody else turned up for counselling or may be on the sole base of merit! Whatever be the reason, it’s a past now. Nobody’s going to care how charming, cute and intelligent you were in your growing years in the high school. There are better things people would ask and want to know from you. So here’s Harry’s ultimate Guide to College for you. Keep it safe, read it in the loo or distribute copies to friends I don’t care. Follow the rules and live in peace.

++ Ragging: Till now you’ve seen it only in the bollywood flicks or heard about it from your dear cousins. It’s time to face the music. Ragging in Indian colleges isn’t the same as it used to be with the Government imposing strict bans and making it a punishable offence. But that doesn’t make your seniors a chicken. So be a sport, go ahead and sing or dance to enjoy a little. If it gets raw, the meat needs to be cooked up! My advice, don’t get rude with the seniors straight away. Some of them would eventually be kind and friendly to you. There would still be some naughty kids around, don’t spare them at all!

++ Boyfriends/Girlfriends: First things first. High school is over. Get over the dream, move up! College will be the time when you’ll be exposed to a wide variety from the opposite sex and the old high school crush can wait or if you’ve been thrown into a non co-ed college, God help you! Remember it’s your first week. First month. Don’t be an early Romeo or a Juliet. Make your image, make your mark and wait. You’re in college now so interaction with the opposite sex will surely ignite someone’s interest in you sometime or the other. In case you’re one of my kind who are not interested in any one at college then admire the library.

++ Classrooms: These are small rooms with some uncomfortable tables and chairs packed with fans rotating at their own merry will and a black board in the front where everyone is supposed to look at for the entire fifty minutes. The best way to concentrate is to imagine the black board as the silver screen. Imagine you’re watching your favourite movie. Or you could imagine your professor dressed up as King Kong and simply beating his chest and shouting for no valid reason. You won’t have to worry much about these are these would be the rooms you’ll hardly visit over the next couple of years.

++ Labs: These are smelly rooms created to impart some practical knowledge into our innocent minds. The only things I learnt in labs was to blow up test tubes and shiny beakers with a cocktail of acids! There’s nothing much you can do in these surroundings, so bunk it off!

++ Canteens/Cafeteria: Your professor might complain of your attendance falling short of the minimum amount but the canteen waiter won’t! Here’s the heaven where you’ll not only feed your hungry tummy but also dare stares at the hunks and the hotties! A prefect place gup-shup over a spicy smosa and cola. And if cupid has already struck then this might be the very shrine where you’ll get to worship you mate!

++ Entry/Exit points: Mark my words, this would be the most important thing to learn in college. You must be aware of all the entry and exit points at college. Why? You’ll answer this to yourself pretty soon!

Finally, just chill! Enjoy yourself but don’t go too easy. Make sure you do keep up with the studies while still enjoying college.

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